Mothers and Trust

I've come to understand recently that I have holes.

I'm am truly broken. 

Every one has these holes in them and for each they are different. One person may have one for love and not understand or have any while another doesn't trust like me. I don't trust. 

I don't trust any one in the world not even my own Mother. The woman who gave me life and cares for me and loves me unconditionally. And I don't trust her. What a horrible child I am?

What a horrible human being? How could I do this?

Its not like I was traumatized in my childhood or come from a broken home. If anything my life is wonderful and yet...I'm this!

I'm this horrible human being who says that she loves people and helps them with there problems never asking for anything only to take off her mask and not trust the one person who gave her life. 

No wonder I break all of my relationships and wish my self dead every night.