Its true that some people are lonely. And that every one at some time in there lives has felt this. But what about me?
I know it sounds selfish and horrible to say, but really I want to know. What about me? I am going to be 21 this year and I am still a virgin, have never had more than ten dates let alone a true relationship and has just gotten my first kiss only last year. Its sad and horrible to admit this but its the truth. I know the reason why I am like this is because I am such a shy person. I'm afraid to make friends let alone some one I though was attractive and wanted to date. I have talked to people and have never heard from them again. Sure I get the unsure and totally acquired 'Hi' 'What's up?' and the classic 'Haven't seen you in awhile'. But they all mean nothing other than to break the tension and to keep moving.
Am I just the acquired and don't know it? Am I unappealing in some way? Do I say the wrong things? So I ask again, what about me? Why is it so hard to be who you are and still have people who want to be around you? Its at this point that I wonder why I'm hear and question everything about myself. I wonder why I was born? What or even if there is a purpose for me? And even more important, why try? Why try to make friends? Why try to love another person? Why don't any of these things? Loneliness doesn't go away. I always comes back. It always has a way of making its self into your life. So why try? Why keep asking questions? Because it seems like the only answer really is me.
I'm a horrible person and I don't belong here.
I know it sounds selfish and horrible to say, but really I want to know. What about me? I am going to be 21 this year and I am still a virgin, have never had more than ten dates let alone a true relationship and has just gotten my first kiss only last year. Its sad and horrible to admit this but its the truth. I know the reason why I am like this is because I am such a shy person. I'm afraid to make friends let alone some one I though was attractive and wanted to date. I have talked to people and have never heard from them again. Sure I get the unsure and totally acquired 'Hi' 'What's up?' and the classic 'Haven't seen you in awhile'. But they all mean nothing other than to break the tension and to keep moving.
Am I just the acquired and don't know it? Am I unappealing in some way? Do I say the wrong things? So I ask again, what about me? Why is it so hard to be who you are and still have people who want to be around you? Its at this point that I wonder why I'm hear and question everything about myself. I wonder why I was born? What or even if there is a purpose for me? And even more important, why try? Why try to make friends? Why try to love another person? Why don't any of these things? Loneliness doesn't go away. I always comes back. It always has a way of making its self into your life. So why try? Why keep asking questions? Because it seems like the only answer really is me.
I'm a horrible person and I don't belong here.
