I care too much.
I worry about my friends. I worry about their well being. I worry about their pain and issues. I worry about them and my family more than about myself. I know that is something everyone does and if nothing it makes me a good friend. But its something I shouldn't do. I being the worries home with me. I turn them into my problem. I try and fix their issues. I try and help them. I do so much for them that I turn form being a good friend into a mother. And that is not what I should be.
But the problem is that I feel that if I don't worry about them it makes me a horrible person. Some how I have it twisted in my head that if I don't worry about them then in some strange way I don't care. I don't care about them and then I am a selfish unfeeling person.
Is it true? Once we stop caring for some one dose that make us selfish? Or does it make us better people in the long run?
I don't know the answer, or if I ever will, but I do know one thing. I have to stop worrying for my friends. I have to stop being their mother because I am running my self in the ground worrying. My health has been horrible and I have come to understand it was because I was so worried about them and what they though of me that I was making myself walk around on pins and needles because of this. I need to let go. If not so they can grow, but for myself so I can be healthy again.
