Its official...I have lost her.

I know its silly to think that a baby would break a friendship, but I have to say that it just makes it official. I know I have told that I have had dark days in my past and that is why I moved out of my apartment and back in with my family. I needed them and they needed to know I was safe. Well as it turns out me moving out and telling my roommates, who I believe to be good friends, that I needed time for myself wasn't enough for them.

They told me that they could tell I was different when I first started being depressed and decided that I would talk about it when I wanted to. YEAH RIGHT!! Would you just walk up to you roommates one day and just say "I tried to kill myself last night. Just though you would want to know." Who would do that? I guess that's what they expected me to do. But no because I didn't want to talk they just let me go.

I have know these girls since freshman year in college and one of them since I was in Jr. High. I was her friend. I knew when something was wrong and made sure that I was their for her and tried my best to help and get her to talk to me. But could they do that for me when I really needed them too. No! Instead they just get mad and block me out of their lives. But that's not completely true. They did call me when they wanted me to pay the electric and water bills for the month because they couldn't afford it. I'm not saying that I pied the whole bill, but me being who I am and hoping that I would get me back in with them did pay half. And that $200 bucks is gone to me now as well as them.

Now, I have made great strides since they have been gone, but its really hard to come around completely when they have gotten everyone in your social circles to turn away from you and just left you alone. Family only gets u so far in this, in the end you need friends but I guess that is lost to me. I will just have to live with not having any and waiting for a man to come home every day. Its a life I could get use to...I think.

So back to the whole baby thing, need less to say. Its a big surprise when you wake up on a Sunday morning only to find my Facebook wall covered in pictures of her baby. God, I hope he gives her hell as he grows up. She has earned every ounce of it for being a horrible best friend.