Exaustion

I'm tired...

I'm tired. I am just so tired. I'm so tired that I just don't want to do anything any more. I am too tired to draw or write or even read! I'm too tired to read!! I'm too tired to do one of the simplest pleasures in my life. I own enough books to start a small library of young adult fiction and I'm just too tried to read any of it. ANY OF IT!

I'm tired of school with its people just wanting to learn and its teachers teaching. I'm tired of watching people love some one and enjoy the time that they have with them. I'm tired of not having a job and no one needing me for anything because I have no experience. I'm tired of talking to my mother about how I feel and just having her look at me all sad and guilty. I'm tired of her sad looks and pushy "I just want to help". But its not helping. Its not helping at all!

I'm tired of hiding my feelings becasue no one wants to hear them. I'm so tired. Im just....I'm just soooooo tired. Why it that such a horrible thing? Why dosen't writting it down make me feel better? Why am I so tired? Why?! Why can't I just sleep and feel better! WHY!!

I just want to leave. Is that so horrible? Is it horrible that I want to leave my happy loving home whithout even a note? I know what I would take. I know what I would need. Is that so bad? Is it so horrible! I love my momma and my dad. I love my home. I love that I feel safe and they want me here, but...

I just don't know if I can stay here.